Being a Parent
It’s not my plan to post on a daily basis, but I’ve decided that yesterday’s isn’t going to count, since it was just my intro. Plus I was having some deep thoughts this morning and thought I’d share them.
I’ve heard it said that life is never easy, but that might be the biggest understatement of the world. Raising children has been the most amazing blessing for me, yet one of the biggest challenges that I have ever faced in my twenty four years. When hard times come up, you get through them… you don’t have a choice. Especially when you have two beautiful children who depend on you . You just have to learn to take the bad times with the good and enjoy every moment, even the little things that you are going to want to take for granted. I absolutely adore being a parent. I don’t think that there is anything in the world more rewarding. I won’t be getting the ‘mother-of-the-year’ award anytime soon. But no one can say that I don’t think the world of my kids and try my very best to be the parent that they need. The problem is that we aren’t perfect. There are moments when I wonder what in the world I have gotten myself into. Is raising children rewarding? Yes. Are there plenty of challenges that go along with it? Of course! Is there such thing as the perfect parent? Doubtful.
I rediscovered that I wanted to write when I started to get back into scrap booking after my second child, Jordyn, was born. I had gone out and purchased the necessary supplies to add journalling to my scrap book pages, but what I discovered was that there was never enough space to say all that I wanted to say and to keep track of all that I wanted to record. I would write these long stories that I ended up cutting down so as not to bore those reading them in my scrapbooks and to be able to fit them onto my pages. Once you have children, there are so many noteworthy things that happen on a daily basis, but if I wanted to include it all in my scrapbooks, I would need a whole library to contain them. So I decided that I am going to attempt to say what I want to say here on my blog, instead of filling my scrap booking pages with mini novels.
We were married in January 2009 and couldn’t wait to start a family. The time between our marriage and our first child’s birth seems somewhat unimportant when I look back on it. Almost as though we were just wasting our time till a child would be joining our family. When I look back on our lives without children, I wonder how on earth we spent our time. Once children came along, free time was a thing of the past, but not for the life of me can I remember how we must have filled all that free time. More then likely we spent a good chunk of it wasting our lives on t.v. shows and movies. (And I say this because once the children are in bed for the night, this is often how we still spend our evenings.) This is not to say that we didn’t enjoy spending time together and getting to know one another better after we got married, but our lives seemed to have a more important purpose once our children came along. I am not trying to make any sort of personal dig at those that have chosen not to have children. I just cannot imagine a life that consists of work and coming home to dinner, a relaxing evening, bed, then starting all over again the next day. I just can’t. (Of course there are plenty of times when I wished that was what my life consisted of as well.) I am sure that having children of my own has biased me, but life before them seemed almost as though it was merely leading up to their arrival. I also want to state that I do not want to hurt or sound insensitive to those that are unable to have children. That is not my intention.
Now that our two beautiful children have joined us, I can’t imagine my life without them. Carter is nearly two and can be quite the handful. He keeps me running like mad (great way to stay in shape in case you’re looking for one). But he is also extremely entertaining. He keeps me laughing, learning, and/or crying from the moment he wakes to the moment he goes to bed. There are so many moments when my husband and I are in complete awe over these children that God created through us. What did we do that we have been so blessed? I often think that we don’t deserve these perfect miracles. Don’t get me wrong, they give us their fair share of grief, but it’s those moments between that keep us going and that we will look back on and remember.
But it can be difficult at times, especially for me, mentally. I often find myself thinking about the fact that the choices that I make in regards to parenting could potentially effect what my children becomes later in life. What kind of man/woman will they turn out to be? I want to be the best parent that I can. I want people to say that I raised wonderful children and did a good job. But having all this pressure of making the right choices is very stressful. How much TV should they be watching? At what age should I allow my children to play video games? Is it OK for me to send them to a public school system or will I scar them and take away their innocence? Should I be teaching my two year old more things, such as his alphabet and counting? I could go on and on. But I’ve come to realize that no matter what decisions we make raising our children and what rules we set and help them follow, they are going to have to make their own choices in in who they become on their own. With God’s help, we do our best and that is all that we can do. We love them, pray for them, help them when they let us, encourage them, and patiently assist them towards making the right choices. Yes, there is a lot of stress involved in making the right decisions, but I am working very hard to allow God to take away some of this stress. He wants to help me make the right decisions. And when I make the wrong ones, He helps me to understand that every day is a learning experience and I need to take what I learned and use it in the future.
I look forward to seeing the people that my children will one day become.